maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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