just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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