awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
