on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
