your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
