I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
