I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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