'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
