If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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