so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Farmville is her only friend.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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