Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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