They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
