walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
