She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
