i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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