You're so nebulous sometimes
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
