had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
