Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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