dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
