Your face is a jimmy john
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
