Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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