I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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