I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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