It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
