i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
