i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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