I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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