I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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