I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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