My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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