how can u be prego again
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
