Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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