i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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