Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
