I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
They took my balls.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
