he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
