Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
