why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
