So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm always down for nudity.
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