I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
