I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
