So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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