yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
