remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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