Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
