I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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