Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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