wanna go halves on a baby?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
