I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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