she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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